Week 4 Update and Secret Eating!

Photo courtesy of Stuart Mills/ freedigitalphotos.net

We have been so spoiled by the glorious weather this summer that I think I forgot how horrible the cold is. I am one of those people that really feels the cold, I can tell when someone opens a window anywhere close by. I have really felt it this week, wrapping up in extra layers, drinking lots and lots of tea and feeling generally lazy when it comes to doing anything outdoors. Its not the best place to be coming into the last 2 weeks of my 6 week challenge as there is something about the cold that makes me crave junk food.

I had an ok week this week, still staying away from the processed foods. I have decided that my little experiment of upping my milk the past few weeks has not been working out too well for me. I am not seeing the benefit of allocating the 3pp per day and having the full pint of skimmed milk. It doesn't make my porridge any more filing and is just encouraging me to have more coffee. So I have decided to cut it out. Instead I am having 100g of 0% greek yoghurt and a tbsp of maple syrup in my porridge and the difference is amazing. The yoghurt is much more filling and this is keeping me going much longer. 

I had a friends 30th birthday on saturday night, and while I somehow managed to stay away from the crisps, junk food and cake for the night, I did drink a fair amount of beer and I felt it the next day. I was bloated and definitely retaining water. I also had a serious craving for pizza that night. I managed to resist the temptation, but it was touch and go for a while. I will be cutting the beer back and limiting it to only one or two every now and then. 

I missed my weigh in again this week. I haven't been feeling too well and needed to just get home and have an early night. I weighed myself at home and it has me the same as last week which is ok. I have 2 more weigh ins before the holiday so I really need to knuckle down. I think overall the mistake I made this week was being a little bit relaxed about my tracking and portion sizes. I measured my breakfasts and lunches, but dinners may have been a bit different. 

I did break my resolve yesterday when I got home. It was cold, I was soaking wet from the rain and feeling really miserable and of course there was nobody home. The first thing I did was have a piece of toast topped with homemade hummus and cheese, followed by a couple of my boyfriends Maoam chews. I didn't really want them, and while I will admit the piece of toast tasted AMAZING, I didn't need it at all and I do feel guilty for giving in to my cravings. 

And here comes the total honesty! It made me think, if anyone else had been at home I wouldn't have done it. It would have also been really easy for me to just forget about it, pretend it didn't happen and come on here saying how much of an angel I was this week. Secret eating is something I have done at lot of in the past and something that still happens occasionally. Its a lot easier to binge when there is nobody there to watch. I know we have all had those nights in with our friends where all we do is eat junk food, but a binge on your own is very different. You are less likely to tell people about it and just act like it never happened. Those weeks where you get up on the scales and you have almost convinced yourself the binge never happened, and so you seem genuinely surprised to see a gain on the scales. 

It is true that we are only kidding ourselves when we do this, but the logic never seems to really make it through. There are extremes of this, we have all seen the show on channel 4, so it can get to the stage where you really can convince yourself beyond any shadow of a doubt that you are not eating. I think one of the best things about Weight Watchers is that it gives you a place that you can share feelings and experiences like this. Its easier to talk to people who understand the feelings. I tried to explain it to my boyfriend earlier, but I don't think he really understood. One piece of toast and a couple of Maoam's may not seem like a binge, but the fact I know I would not have had it if someone else had been there! I am only human, and its ok to go off track every now and then, its not going to kill me. I just  need to recognise the feelings and move on from them!

Anyway I am well and truly over it and back on track. Being extra careful with my portions and tracking and have the week planned. I have no more nights out planned before my holidays, so going alcohol free for the extra boost!