I have had a bit of an up and down week last week. I was a bit all over the place with my schedule and found myself really struggling to find motivation. I have been really busy with work the past couple of weeks and I am so tired by the time I get home. I find myself starting to make excuses and planning on cutting my runs short. I got home from work late last wednesday and for the 2nd week in a row decided not to get up for my Thursday morning run. While the week before I went out that evening this week I worked even later on Thursday and didn't make it out until Friday morning. I was tempted to just skip it but I am glad I got out. Friday's run was not my best, but I needed it. Saturday was a planned rest day and I feel looking back that skipping Thursday's could be just the start of me giving up.
When I look back over the past few months I am still amazed that I am still going and terrified of losing the love and motivation that keeps me going. Its tough waking up early to get out and when you have a busy weekend it is hard to take an hour or 2 out to go running. I know I always feel great when I come back and thats what keeps me going. It can be so hard when you have a week and you seem to be going backwards rather than forwards, but I find you need to remember that a bad run is better than no run at all!
I started so many runs this week with the intention of not completing the planned run. I have thought I will just do 5km instead of 7, or I will stay close to home in case I want to go back. A couple of times my head has won and I have come up short on my training program. I wouldn't actually mind this if I was pulling out great times, but I have been slow. I went out on Sunday and runkeeper was telling me I had 16km due. I was a little daunted but also feeling lazy and I thought I'd just do about 8km and I'd be grand. I had one of those arguments with myself throughout the whole first kilometer and then something just snapped and I realised I was on a slippery slope and pushed through. Not only did I finish the full 16km, I did this in a reasonable time of 1hr 42 minutes. I'm not kidding myself into thinking this is fast, but this is fast for me for this distance. I am not in competition with other runners, only with myself!
I turned a corner after this and I am feeling great about the running again. I was out this morning and my pace was better than ever. I have less than a week to go until the Flora Women's Mini Marathon and I am excited. I have trained hard for this and I really hope this hard work pays off and I get the time I need. 3 more short training runs to go between now and Monday and I am going for it with everything I have!