Sunday, March 24, 2013

Struggling!

I'm feeling a bit down tonight. I have had an over indulgent weekend and I am feeling very very guilty. I am currently 1.5lbs above my goal and was hoping to get that back down this week but the chances of that are pretty slim, in fact I will most likely be adding to it. I don't know where my self control has gone and I don't like it. I started out really well this week, was on track to a great weekend. Then last night I went out for a few drinks. Wasn't planning a mad one but the pub we were in had the most delicious cocktails and after a few of those that was it, me gone for the night. I have been pretty good about staying away from late
night food on the nights I do go over the top with drink, but last night I just had it in my head that I wanted to go to Zaytoons for a kebab! Now I enjoyed every mouthful but I did not enjoy the guilt after.

I woke up this morning not only feeling very hungover, but very full, bloated and guilty. I got up and I had to get baking for my cousins baby shower. I made a few weight watcher friendly recipes (too hungover to document it so may not be posting) but was not really planning on eating that much at the shower and hoping to go carb free for dinner. The reality was very different, once I got to the party and all the nibbles were there I couldn't stop reaching for things. I had a lot of wedges and tortilla chips with creamy dip and a delicious cupcake. I then went home for my dinner which was roast beef and lots of roast potatoes.

On top of how ill and bloated I feel, I also feel fat again for the first time in a long time and its a horrible feeling. My body is aching from my hangover and kettlebells on friday and I haven't been able to do any more exercise this weekend so I can add lazy to the list of feelings for the day. I need to get myself back on form so I don't let this skyrocket and I need to remind myself what I have been through over the past year. I have been asked a few times whats it like being so open about my journey and it is all about keeping me on track and hopefully being a source of help and motivation to others. It is more difficult to fail with people watching. Unfortunately that makes the guilt when I slip up a little bit worse.  We are all human and we can't be perfect but I know I can do better and thats my aim moving forward.

3 comments:

  1. I completely understand where you are coming from with the guilt and sometimes lack of control that can hit us when we are being so good.

    The important here is to know you were a bit bold but try not to punish yourself for it. So what if you are up this week in the grand scheme of things when you step back and look at where you are now from where you started.

    Start this week afresh - I'm also too aware of the big ugly Easter weekend ahead but if we put in a good week, we can still have an egg and eat it too :)

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  2. Don't worry Zed,
    You'll bounce back from this,it's just a bad week,
    We all have them.
    Just snap out of it now, what's done is done.
    So get cracking now, plan Your next few days and drink plenty of water.
    You'll soon be back feeling slim.
    M xx

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  3. Thanks to you both! Managed to start the week fresh and get back on track before holidays. Determined to be down my next weigh so fingers crossed my resolve stays strong xx

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