Tuesday, August 19, 2014

6 Months Ago...

I hope I can....

Back in February I made a decision to get back into running. I signed up to a training program to finally achieve one of my most elusive goals....the sub 60 minute 10k. Somewhere around that same time I said to someone, maybe I'll do a half marathon. Now I have said things like this before and in pretty similar circumstances, usually right after getting out and doing one or two consecutive runs in the hopes of making it a regular thing. When I uttered those words, I meant them at the time but instantly regretted saying it out loud and was sure it would never happen. A couple of days passed, and it was different, I kept thinking about it. Not only did I keep thinking about it, I actually googled half marathons in Ireland to actually see if there was one I would like to do.

As I stuck religiously to my training program, the idea of a half marathon really stuck with me and I found one I actually thought I could sign up for and a runkeeper training program that started just after the mini marathon and ended on the date of my selected half marathon. I also kept talking about it, told pretty much anyone who would listen. It got to the point that I figured, the more people I told the less likely I was to back out. I was also really sticking to and actually enjoying my four runs a week. 

Then in April I did it, I actually signed up and felt instant dread. As I have written about I suffer terrible anxiety, something which really held me back when I did the Movember 10k and it is not fun! I decided to put it to the back of my mind and focus at the task in hand... my sub 60 minute 10k. I got my first goal and took a week off, and if I am honest I struggled to get back on track. Without something else to focus on  my anxiety was back in full force and I was failing. The more I felt I was failing the worse the anxiety got and as usual it was a viscious circle. 

I was regretting the undertaking, I had gone from having dreams of actually becoming the runner I so wanted to be, to giving up and failing yet again. Work was getting super stressful and busy and I was feeling the pressure, so I took a week off. It would have been so easy to let a week turn into 2 weeks, and 2 weeks turn into a month until I reached October with no training done! 

So the week of my birthday, when I could have used any number of excuses to give up, I got back out to the road. I struggled through the first couple but kept going and pushed through my anxiety. I am still not right back to where I was for the 10k but I am persevering and back to enjoying it. 

I love this quote, I finally feel comfortable saying I am a runner! I will not give up, no matter how hard it gets or how far away my goal seems. There is nothing like hitting the road and just getting completely lost in your thoughts. Feeling like you want to stop but pushing through and making it to the end. 

I have known running alone is not enough for a while and have been talking about joining Ben Dunne all year, but always had a reason not too. So last week I bit the bullet and signed up. My plan is to continue my 4 days running a week and hit the gym on Mondays and Wednesdays to focus a bit more on weights and core strength. This gives me one full rest day a week which hopefully will be enough. I am going to give it a couple of weeks and see how I get on with this. 

I am excited and motivated! I have just over 6 weeks to go, but I know I can do it! 

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